From the archives of Parkus Grammaticus
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[No reply, but from a different part of the room]
—Honey, can I have some more lard?
—The only lard left is the old lard from Halloween.
—That sounds fine.
—I’ll fetch it from the larder but you’ll have to prepare it yourself. I threw out my back.
—Fine. Why’d you throw out your back? I thought it was new.
[pause] —Can I borrow your phone?
—Who are you calling?
—Woah. [pause] How did you get the number?
—Most people don’t realize that you can find His number in the yellow pages. [pause] Well that’s not entirely true. There was one year when they mistakenly printed his number. This was in 1956. They thought it was the number for G.O.D.—Great Opportunities in Denial. It was a temp agency. They put God’s number in by accident. Only one person called.
—That’s why he’s omnipotent now?
—Is he God?